I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
