i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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