i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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