Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
