that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
