The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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