i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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