went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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