She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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