first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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