I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My dick has a subreddit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
