My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
