I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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