can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
