Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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