so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
