this beer tastes like vomit already
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
