I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
