I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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