Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Come on in and take your pants off
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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