i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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