OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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