Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
