Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
