I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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