You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
