nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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