his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
