Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
