Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
