I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
