we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
