You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Everyone says I win the strip club
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
