Swine flu. Run for my life!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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