i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize