Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
