so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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