I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
