i just had sex bonerless
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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