i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
