Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
