I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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