im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
