It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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