Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
