Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well you can't waste a boner
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
