i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
