You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
