I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
