life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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