Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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