Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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