I just made out with a guy for $7.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He did a backflip because drugs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
