So drunk its hurt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
