U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to make out with him forever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
