Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
