if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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