Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
