Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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