Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
