I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
