another moral hangover. fuck.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
