Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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