so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
