these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
