wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
